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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278423">it's alright, it's okay.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldairballoons/pseuds/coldairballoons'>coldairballoons</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Intertwined [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Murdoch Mysteries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:27:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldairballoons/pseuds/coldairballoons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“They… you… were right, they… they all lied, because…” He gasped again, shaking his head. “Because… I’m… I’m a monster-”</p><p>A.K.A., I hurt James Pendrick, but it's okay, because he has two partners to hug him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julia Ogden/James Pendrick, William Murdoch/James Pendrick, William Murdoch/Julia Ogden, William Murdoch/Julia Ogden/James Pendrick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Intertwined [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132649</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it's alright, it's okay.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/townesorsomething/gifts">townesorsomething</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/here_to_vibe/gifts">here_to_vibe</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>WHERE ARE MY PENDROCHGDEN RIGHTS, AO3</p><p>PLEASE</p><p>THEY POLY</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was storming outside, and William Murdoch couldn’t sleep. He rolled over in the bed again, rubbing his eyes, and sat up as another clap of thunder shook the windows of the house. He could hear the wind howling outside, the pounding of sheets of rain against the windows, and quietly, as to not wake his sleeping partners, walked to the window, looking out at the street below.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rain hit the pavement, and William could practically smell the wet earth, even in the room. It was loud, so much louder than it usually was, and almost too loud to hear a soft groan from the bed. “Will?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned around and was met, to his surprise, with a shaking James Pendrick, the thin fabric of his nightshirt damp with a cold sweat. “...are you alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” he choked out, before he inhaled sharply, breath hitching into a sob, and William was quickly running over to him, cupping his face. “No, no, I… it’s my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is?” William asked, running one hand up to brush through his hair. Faintly, he could hear Julia shifting, and saw her form sit up, nothing more than a dark blob. “Talk to me, Pendrick, talk to me…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will?” Julia whispered, then paused. “...James? What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James just shook his head, trying to halt the tears, evidently, but they just kept coming. Julia found her arms wrapped around his midsection, leaned her chin against his shoulder, and held him from the back, while William kept a steady hand combing through his bed-messy hair. “James?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They… you… were right, they… they all lied, because…” He gasped again, shaking his head. “Because… I’m… I’m a monster-” James buried his face against William’s shoulder, and the detective could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> his tears against his skin. “I’m a monster…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not.” Julia whispered, looking up at William, but he shook his head. He’d no clue what was going on, not until James whimpered something from against his shoulder. “I beg your pardon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was… it was my fault, every… every time, every </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> time someone… they lied to me, they… it was my fault, I gave… I gave them the power, I… it was all my fault, and… and Sally… and…” He shook his head, and William just held him closer. “...’s my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, darling…” Julia kissed his shoulder, rubbing her hands up and down his sides and chest in what William assumed was comforting. “Darling, darling, it wasn’t… it wasn’t your fault then, it’s not your fault now. Your assistants, your friends, Sally, they hurt you, and you don’t deserve that. You didn’t then, and you don’t now, do you hear me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>William nodded, kissing his partner’s forehead softly. He smoothed out a bit of James’ hair with his thumb, then just let his chin drop against his head. “I assure you, love, you deserved none of what’s happened to you. Not Sally, not anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James shook his head, balling his fists in William’s shirt---absently, he realized the sensation was almost akin to a cat kneading---and nudged his nose against his neck. When the inventor spoke again, his voice was quiet, hoarse, choked with tears. “What if it is?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Darling…” Julia whispered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder again. “It’s not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a monster, James.” William added, and he felt his partner shudder from beneath him. “You’re not. You’re just a human, like us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve… I’ve messed so much up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>William laughed. “You think we haven’t? Do you genuinely believe-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” James said flatly, and Julia snorted. “I just think that it’s… it’s my fault for them. For everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julia shook her head, resting a hand on James’ cheek, and turning his face to look at her. “I know you think it is, James, but… it’s not. It’s not your fault. You’re… you’re alright. It’s alright.” James’ eyes fluttered shut under her touch, he leaned against her and sighed, letting out a weak laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should trust you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You very much so should,” William hummed softly, kissing James’ hair. “This is going to hurt, James, but we, Julia and I? We </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> here for you. No matter what.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James nodded, shutting his eyes again, and buried his face against William’s shoulder, breath shaky. “...is it childish to ask you if you promise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>William melted instantly, shaking his head. “Not in the slightest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We</span>
  </em>
  <span> promise.” Julia whispered, kissing James’ hair, and William nodded. “We’re not leaving you, Jamie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was storming outside, and William Murdoch couldn’t sleep. But as he watched his lover fall asleep in his and his wife’s arms, the storm seemed to be drowned out. Anything outside their little room was irrelevant, so long as it didn’t touch the throuple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And perhaps that was enough.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please comment, talk to me, I'm lonely-</p><p>Also, feel free to come chat on my Tumblr (coldairballoons) or Discord (@coldairballoons#9556)!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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